The Car Of The Future

May 19, 2009

You’ve probably seen those displays where the automakers roll out some sleek, futuristic-looking car with the legend that this is the “Car of The Future.” They’re usually silver, all the harsh angles have been gently rounded off, and they come complete with a list of promises: it runs on a battery! it flies! it goes underwater! it can hold fifteen people and their luggage! etc.

I was really looking forward to getting that car, but I knew that I’d have to wait until the market found a way to make this masterpiece affordable.

Enter Government Motors.

The Obama Administration has now told auto companies that they must produce cars that get approximately 35 miles per gallon in the next seven years. What if the technology is not up to that level by then? Tough. What if it increases the cost of cars dramatically (The Administration estimates that the cost of a car will increase by about $1300 under the new rules, and we all know how well the Administration estimates costs)? Tough.

Of course, there is one surefire way of increasing the MPG rate: make the car more lightweight and smaller.

Behold the new, revised Car of The Future:

yugo_ad

Remember how the Government told all the networks and cable companies that they must broadcast their signals in a digital format by February of 2009? Of course, the technology wasn’t quite there by then so the date was pushed back to June. And then there were thousands and thousands of people who didn’t have cable TV and who had to buy converter boxes? And how we couldn’t just force people to shell out their own money for the boxes, so the stimulus package that was recently passed had $640 million dollars for “coupons” so people could get their converter boxes? Now let’s apply these principles here: Government mandates by setting arbitrary goals and deadlines; technology and innovation fail to operate under a government deadline; deadlines get delayed; costs mount. As sure as Niagara Falls…

Why can’t these people just let the market (i.e., consumers, the people) decide how and when they want these things to change? Government mandates assume that a bunch of bureaucrats in Washington D.C. are so omniscient that they can dictate what people really want. Well, an office in the nation’s capital doesn’t grant the occupant with any special knowledge of John and Jane Public. In many ways, the isolating cocoon of a government office removes the knowledge of what the people really want and need.


Biden Strikes Again

May 18, 2009

National security, anyone?

Joe Biden can be a whole lot of fun, what with the gaffes and the lies and the size 12s he’s always pulling out of his own mouth, but this is just flat out idiotic.

Joe Biden has long been the stupidest man in the Senate, so it’s no surprise that he would now take his proper place as “Stupidest Man In The White House.” This latest bout of idiocy has serious ramifications, of course. What good is a top secret bunker that can now be added to D.C.’s list of tourist attractions? The millions of dollars that were spent constructing and maintaining a top secret bunker for the protection of the VP and his family and staff have been largely wasted for no reason other than the current VP has a black hole where his brain should be, coupled with a severe case of logorrhea…a combination of conditions that makes for great entertainment until he accidentally shouts out the nuclear launch codes while he is sharing his recipe for German pancakes on Live with Regis and Kelly. The man is an embarrassment.

UPDATE: A Biden spokesperson is now claiming that Biden did not spill any classified information. Apparently the subterranean room under the U.S. Naval Observatory that had a heavy metal door with an elaborate locking system that led into a hallway lined with electronic communication equipment was, in reality, an upstairs workspace that is now being used as a guestroom. No, really. Swear to God that’s what he said.


The Goreacle Weighs In

May 15, 2009

Earlier I had blogged that I didn’t have any real problem with Dick Cheney criticizing (politely but firmly) the Obama administration. Now Al “THEY LIED TO US!!! THEY BETRAYED THIS COUNTRY!!!!” Gore weighs in on the subject.

I can’t put the actual dates on it, but Gore may be right that he was mum on the Bush administration for two years. But lest we forget, during that two-year period Al was sitting in a cave, growing a beard, eating a freight car’s worth of potato chips, and scribbling pictures of Manbearpig on the walls. When he emerged he was not merely critical of Bush/Cheney, he was deliriously unhinged. Al Gore is currently one hanging chad away from clanging a bell and wearing a sandwich board that says “Repent! The End of the World Is Near!” He should be taken that seriously.


Flurries In Hell

May 15, 2009

I wouldn’t say that Hell has frozen over, exactly, but I do actually agree with this New York Times editorial about the single most corrupt politician in Washington D.C.

The Times is, of course, worried that the “culture of corruption” charge will be used against the Democrats in 2010. They should be worried. From William Jefferson to Charlie Rangel to Nancy Pelosi to John Murtha, the current crop of kleptocrats makes the Republican bozos who cruised bathrooms and propositioned teenagers look like choirboys.


Newt On Nan

May 15, 2009

I was kind of hoping that when The Clampdown came for me I’d end up sharing a re-education cell at the Barack Obama Tolerance Camp with Michelle Malkin or Laura Ingraham. Oh hell, I’m still hoping for that. A boy can still dream, can’t he? They haven’t put that under government control yet, have they?

If he keeps up with this line of unacceptable thought, it looks like I’ll have a different cellmate, though.