Boorish Biden

October 12, 2012

When the dust fully settles, very few people will remember anything about last night’s Vice Presidential debate except for the endless mugging and wildly rude behavior of the sitting veep. In that way it will be recalled similarly to the first Bush/Gore debate: no one remembers what was said that night, or even who “won”, but they remember that Gore spent the time sighing and rolling his eyes. Forget the substance of whatever was said that night, the impression was that Gore lost because he acted like an ass.

Biden has his fans, even on the Right. They may not like the policies he espouses, but Biden is by all accounts a good and decent man. Maybe so, but goodness and decency were not on display last night. What Biden demonstrated last night was complete and utter contempt for the young Congressman he routinely and, one would assume, sarcastically referred to as “my friend.” Well, with friends like that…

There were plenty of missed opportunities for Paul Ryan last night. He seemed nervous for the first half of the debate, repeated himself several times, got a little lost in the numbers, and failed to knock Biden off his heels. This could be because Ryan is new to a stage this large, but it is more likely due to the fact that nobody was expecting Biden to sit there raving like a drunk in the corner of the bar at three in the morning. My guess is that Ryan’s muted and tepid response to Biden was shock. Biden always seems affable, but last night he was giggling and snorting like Beavis and Butthead in Sex Ed class. Then, when challenged, he responded with something very close to rage. Ryan’s good at math, and he probably did some here: Rage + Huge Smile = Psychopath.

Many of Ryan’s responses were lukewarm, especially on foreign policy. But Biden’s responses were downright baffling. Sure he scored a few points here and there, but what conclusion can anybody draw when one candidate is discussing the very real possibility that a major terrorist force in the world is close to getting nuclear weapons and has stated the desire to destroy Israel and the other candidate is…giggling and laughing? If you’ve ever wanted to know what the Lloyd Bentsen/Dan Quayle debate would have sounded like if Bentsen had spent the afternoon drinking Kentucky mash liquor, you only need to see the clip of Biden barking, “Oh, so now you’re Jack Kennedy?!” Biden even snorted when Ryan was seriously, and touchingly, describing the ultrasound of his first child. Watching Biden was like watching the homeless man on Seinfeld who responded to every statement with a snappy salute and a non sequitur (“Potato salad!” “The government!”)

On substance, the debate was pretty much a draw. Biden held the edge in foreign policy, though some of his statements were, um, disingenuous. Ryan easily bested Biden on economic policies. But this is television and appearances matter so make no mistake: Despite the glee of the MSNBC crowd, Biden lost this debate. From the first minute to the last, it was clear that there was only one mature adult on that stage. His name was Paul Ryan.

A week from now all anybody will remember about this debate is the perception that the man currently a heartbeat away from the Presidency was loud, angry, rude, and contemptuous of his opponent who remained calm, unruffled, and serious. I doubt this will “move the needle” as the pundits say, but last night’s debate was like a slow release poison for Obama. They may not feel any effects now, but as time goes on Biden’s behavior will be looked at as unprofessional and childish, and that will not help Obama once people step into the voting booth and pull the curtain closed behind them.


UPDATE 10/13: The Magnificent Mark Steyn reminds us of what Clint Eastwood had to say about Joe Biden during the Republican convention: “Just a grin with a body behind it.”

I repeat: Who knew that Clint Eastwood was so prescient?


Crazy Uncle Joe

August 15, 2012

Ha! That lovable rogue Joe Biden has done it again! You never know what’s going to come out of his mouth. This week, on Oh, That Biden!, he slipped into that down home, faux-black accent that Democratic politicians love to use when they’re speaking to black audiences. It’s a way of saying that they’re down with the Negro dialect, that some of their best friends might be black, or at least have black household help. And what did Biden say while he was patronizing those people by talking like a guest star in a Tyler Perry movie? Why, he implied that Mitt Romney wanted to bring back slavery! Oh, that Biden!

Speaking to a largely, though not entirely, black audience, Biden said that Mitt Romney wants “to let the big banks once again write their own rules—unchain Wall Street!” Then, slipping into that black dialect: “They gon’ put y’all back in chains.” Das right! He went there, girlfriend! Good Lord, the condescension is so thick you could walk on it.

Now the fact is that some of Biden’s gaffes are nothing more than the harmless side effect of having too much speaking time and too little brainpower. Lines like “The President has a big stick” when discussing foreign policy, or telling the nation that President Roosevelt went on TV to address the nation four years before he became President…well, it’s kind of like watching Homer Simpson in the real world.

This should make anyone, regardless of party affiliation, nervous. Homer Simpson is one of the funniest characters in TV history, but he’s a cartoon. On TV. I.e., he doesn’t exist. Joe Biden is one heartbeat away from being the President of the United States of America, the most powerful man in the world.

He does exist. He’s not a cartoon. And he is a blithering idiot.

Sarah Palin and Dan Quayle were persecuted by the media for far more innocuous statements. Dan Quayle was forever branded as a moron because he misspelled “potato.” It’s 20 years later and the only thing people remember about Dan Quayle is that he can’t spell “potato” and he was involved in an imbroglio over some liberal wet dream television show that nobody can remember.

Joe Biden? The Human Gaffe Machine is considered a statesman and foreign policy expert by the same media. A little eccentric, maybe, but that’s just Joe being Joe. In fact, Barack Obama selected Biden as his running mate because of Biden’s foreign policy acumen, despite the fact that Biden has been wrong on every foreign policy issue for the past 30 years.

Personally, I don’t care about Biden’s legitimate slips of the tongue. He gives a lot of speeches, and everybody flubs their lines on occasion. For example, in the same speech where he implied that Romney is a preppy version of Simon Legree, he proudly proclaimed “We can win North Carolina!” Unfortunately, he was speaking in Virginia. Anyone could make that mistake.

But Biden’s lengthy string of idiotic statements are more than just the drunken ramblings of Uncle Nutty at the family reunion. What Biden said about Romney was more than just a gaffe. From the faux-black accent to the nature of the aside, it is clear to me that this was not a gaffe at all. It was a dog whistle, meant to be heard only by a select few. Biden’s eternal idiocy gives him cover to speak in code to the base. If caught, it’s only “Crazy Uncle Joe meant to say something different and it came out wrong.” If not caught, so much the better.

Not every gaffe is a slip of the tongue. Some of them are messages. What Biden said in Virginia was one of the latter.


What Was McChrystal Thinking?

June 22, 2010

The word is out today that General Stanley McChrystal, in charge of operations in Afghanistan, gave an interview to Rolling Stone in which he, and some of his staff, bad-mouthed President Obama, Vice President Biden, National Security Advisor James Jones, the ambassador to Afghanistan Karl Eikenberry, and Special Envoy Richard Holbrooke.

What in the name of God was McChrystal thinking? Rolling Stone, of all magazines, is not going to try to portray the general in a positive light, but they are not to blame here. These mistakes were McChrystal’s own. Regardless of his explanation, he should be, and probably will be, removed from his post.

This is unfortunate because McChrystal is by all accounts a good soldier and a good man, who is trying to do an extremely difficult job without much support from the White House. My guess is that he is correct in his assessment of the Administration. But in the military this kind of public talk about one’s commanding officer, and Obama is the Commander-in-Chief whether we like it or not, can not be tolerated. Douglas MacArthur was correct in his assessment of what to do in Korea, but wrong in his public criticism of Harry Truman. A great American hero, MacArthur deserved to be removed from his post because of his flagrant violation of military protocol. So it is true for General McChrystal, as well.

I have no doubt that McChrystal’s criticisms (and most of the negative remarks came from the mouths of anonymous aides, not the General himself) were because of the frustration he feels in dealing with an Administration that wants to have it both ways in Afghanistan. But frustration is no excuse. Assuming the reports are true, McChrystal needs to be reassigned or retire. Just because the kids are running the show that’s no reason to engage in such a breach of protocol. Sad.

Over at Hot Air, they’re saying that the Rolling Stone article is every bit as bad as they feared.


President Biden?

September 4, 2009

I remember after President Reagan was shot, Secretary of State Alexander Haig said something along the lines of “I’m in charge here.” Technically, he was referring to the White House itself, not the office of the Presidency. VP Bush was not there, and Reagan was at the hospital. Despite all the Left’s loony accusations, Haig wasn’t really trying to circumvent the Constitutional line of succession.

But now that Obama is on vacation, it appears that Joe Biden has decided to fill that power void at the top. I wait for the Left to accuse Biden of trying to subvert the Constitution. For the record, I am not suggesting that Biden is trying to seize the Presidency. I just think he’s a blowhard.


Those Ukraine Girls Really Knock Him Out

July 22, 2009

Is there no limit to the idiocy Joe Biden is capable of spouting?

Now, I’m not denying that Ukranian women can be beautiful. Any country that produces Milla Jovovich is okay with me. But c’mon, Mr. Vice President, can you please stop drooling?


Biden Strikes Again

May 18, 2009

National security, anyone?

Joe Biden can be a whole lot of fun, what with the gaffes and the lies and the size 12s he’s always pulling out of his own mouth, but this is just flat out idiotic.

Joe Biden has long been the stupidest man in the Senate, so it’s no surprise that he would now take his proper place as “Stupidest Man In The White House.” This latest bout of idiocy has serious ramifications, of course. What good is a top secret bunker that can now be added to D.C.’s list of tourist attractions? The millions of dollars that were spent constructing and maintaining a top secret bunker for the protection of the VP and his family and staff have been largely wasted for no reason other than the current VP has a black hole where his brain should be, coupled with a severe case of logorrhea…a combination of conditions that makes for great entertainment until he accidentally shouts out the nuclear launch codes while he is sharing his recipe for German pancakes on Live with Regis and Kelly. The man is an embarrassment.

UPDATE: A Biden spokesperson is now claiming that Biden did not spill any classified information. Apparently the subterranean room under the U.S. Naval Observatory that had a heavy metal door with an elaborate locking system that led into a hallway lined with electronic communication equipment was, in reality, an upstairs workspace that is now being used as a guestroom. No, really. Swear to God that’s what he said.


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