President Chamberlain

Dateline 1938: American President Neville Chamberlain told the world today that Germany has a serious problem with insects and other pests and that they should be allowed to produce the pesticide Zyklon-B, on the condition that they swear on a stack of Bibles that they won’t use it for anything bad.

When asked for a comment, German Chancellor Hitler responded, “Jah, we promise. We will use it only to kill pests.”

President Chamberlain hailed the promise as a great victory and promised even more examples of lofty rhetoric producing peace in our time.

When asked what would happen if Germany were to use the pesticide against, say, Jews, President Chamberlain promised condemnation and, possibly, “a strongly-worded letter of criticism from the League Of Nations.”

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